Last Camper is the first song sung in Total Drama Comeback and is sung by Ezekiel during Returning Talents - Part 2 as his performance for the talent show. The song is a parody of "Rockstar" by Nickelback.



I'm getting off this ferry

to this ugly island.

With the promise that I

could win a hundred grand.

To be shackled up with

twenty-two other teens.

(Why'd I sign up for this?)

The food here could kill

with so much as a whiff.

And the first challenge is to

leap off a cliff.

I swore, I could see the teeth

on those sharks gleam.

(Almost became dinner there.)

I'm shoving a crate across a mile-long beach

So to Chris Maclean, I gotta beseech

We don't really wanna die

So don't serve us dinner, please.

(I'm sure mine just moved.)

So it's Screaming Gophers verses Killer Bass

Both praying this day won't be our last.

The Boat of Losers is the

last place you wanna be.

(And you can't come back, ever.)

I won't be the one walking the Dock of Shame

Rather go down with glory with a burst of flame


'Cause we all just wanna be the last camper

Might be bossed around by queen bee Heather

The girl called Courtney was a C.I.T.

And the R.C.M.P. is after crazy Izzy

And we'll party on with our man Geoff

Try to comfort Sadie when Katie left.

And Trent's giving Gwen

that longful stare

Lindsay desperately tries

to make up her hair.

Hey eh, I'll be the last camper

Hey eh, I'll be the last camper

So I confess my feelings to the Confessional Can

hoping that marshmallow is thrown into my hand.

I did my best and I

hope my team realizes that

(Cuz I can't come back, ever.)

Try to cook a meal during a food fight

Try to stay up late for four straight nights

Explosions and bears and

I still can keep on my hat.

(Never leave home without it.)

I won't be the one walking the Dock of Shame

Winning's the one and only reason that I came.


'Cause we all just wanna be the last camper.

I won't let a body-cast be a damper.

'Nother sick challenge, 'nother marshmallow

Unless Owen ate 'em all, which feels hollow.

And we'll go surfing with Bridgette

I tried to swim until the leeches bit

Justin takes off his shirt

and I can't help but stare.

Who'll throw up first

during the Triple Dog Dare?

And while Chef howls away at the moon

The final marshmallow will be received soon.

Noah rolls his eyes while he reads his book.

Duncan scares his team silly with a hook.

Hey eh, I'll be the last camper

The number of campers is dropping like a stone

Won't be long until I will be all alone.

I'll miss my friends who did their very best.

But in the end, I'll be the only one left.


We all wanna be the last camper.

Got a cliff or a pit, I'll be the first jumper

You haven't seen tough 'till you seen Eva.

Before he left, Harold kissed Leshawna!

Did you know a serial killer's loose?

DJ's freaking out though it's all a ruse.

The dodge ball players

are mashed against the wall.

With Tyler's whirlwind

and Cody's static ball.

You see, Beth brought about a curse of doom

And Ezekiel learned not to speak too soon.

Actions and words can bring your demise.

It'll provoke a lot of angry e-mail replies.

Hey eh, I'll be the last camper

Hey eh, I'll be the last camper!


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